Dear M.P.,

Yesterday, you turned seven months old!!! This has been a very busy month for you. In fact, you did two new things ON your seven month birthday.

First, I was putting you down for some tummy time, and stopped yourself on your hands and knees. You stayed in that position for about 10 seconds. SCARY!! You've been pushing yourself up into a girl's push up position, but yesterday was the first time you held yourself up on your hands and knees.

Second, you cried when Dad took away your beloved remote control. Up until now, you haven't put it together that we are exercising our will over you when we take something away from you. I guess to you it just seems like some things appeared and then disappeared. But now you realize that we have a choice to take things away, and you can voice an opinion about it. Which you do.

You have grown so much this month that I'm sort of sad we didn't have a reason to take you to the doctor to get you measured. You started out wearing size 6 months, but that only lasted about a week. Then we went to size 6-9. That lasted another week. Then size 9 months. By the end of last week, the sleeves were all too short. So I had to go out and buy a ton of size 12 clothes.

You have also started eating a LOT of food. I had just been feeding you a small amount of a fruit or veggie in the mornings. I decided to send a small jar with you to daycare one day, so you could have it for lunch. Well, I got a serious scolding from the teachers. You were so mad when that small jar ran out, that they had to immediately give you a bottle, because you wouldn't stop crying. Then you ended up drinking all of your bottles that day. I was told I had to bring a bigger food jar, and had to increase the size of your bottles.

You now eat a fruit or veggie three times a day, and your bottles are all at least five ounces - mostly six ounces.

I hesitate to write this next part because I'm afraid if I do... it'll stop.

You have started sleeping through the night. (YIPEE!!!). We put you down right around 7:00 and you don't get up before 6:00. If you ever start sounding like you're waking up, all we have to do is put the paci in, and you go right back to sleep. It is so wonderful. I think the combination of eating more during the day, and the fact that I had stopped giving you a bottle at night, made you able to sleep more soundly.

But, you still do not sleep very peacefully. You've traded the leg SLAM for the running leg SLAM. You basically bicycle your legs, slamming them into the crib. Anytime we go in to check on your, your legs are in the air. I can't understand how that's a comfortable way to sleep. Dad made several videos using the night vision on our video camera to document your sleep habits. I can't upload those because they are too long. Instead, I've uploaded a video of you "talking."

You are a complete delight, and we love you so much.

Obligatory baby pictures

M.P. practiced piano before going to daycare today.

She wore an adorable outfit my cousin gave her.

After practicing piano, she practiced her Gerber baby pose.

Another one bites the dust

One of my listed items is to do something that scares me.  I can check that off my list.

As you see from the widget on the right-hand column, I have signed up to participate in the Breast Cancer Three Day.  I will be walking 60 miles in three days, and raising $2,300 to fight breast cancer.

In 1996, my mother (Huntsville Grandma) was diagnosed with breast cancer.  Thanks to aggressive treatment, early detection, and her determination, she is a survivor.  I have wanted to do something in her honor for years, but there was always college, or law school, or pregnancy.  There is nothing standing in my way this year. 

You can click on the widget or here to go to my personal web page and donate to the cause.  All online donors will be on a honor roll on my page, and I will have their names on my shirt when I walk.

If you are reading this you will probably get a an e-mail from me asking you to donate.  But feel free to send my blog's address or the address of my personal page with the Three Day to anyone you think may be willing to help.

Pledging to walk 60 miles in three days and raise $2,300 scares me.  But sometimes we must do something that scares us to make a difference.

My hope is that through our hard work now, M.P. will never have to worry about breast cancer because there will be a cure.

Huntsville Grandma, Huntsville Great Grandma, M.P. & Me

Sweet land of liberty

I couldn't let today pass without saying something.  Of course, I dont know what to say.  Today I skipped out of my office to go to a co-worker's house to watch the 44th President be sworn in.  I watched his speech.  Although, I must admit that the benediction stole the show.

I heard a story that a reporter told about her daughter.  She was talking with her six year old this morning about how today was a special day because the first African-American was being sworn in as President of the United States.  

"What do you mean the FIRST?  You mean the first in a long time, right?"

"No, the first ever."

"Well, how many Presidents have there been, like five?"

"No, he is the 44th."

"How is that possible?"

I love it.  I love that my daughter will one day wonder how it could be possible that hundreds of years of our nation's history passed by before there was a black president. 

I love how instead of wondering "How could this happen?" she will wonder,

"How could this have taken so long?"

Enough!

Enough of lists and personal betterment and middle class guilt and mommy wars!

Instead a video that is proof that my daughter is my daughter.

Project Be in Better Shape*

I casually (oh-so-casually) mentioned in my List to End All Lists that I want to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. And while I'm not going to tell you how close or far I am from that number in absolute terms, I will tell you that the number of pounds I have to lose has two digits.

Ahem.

Toward that end, I asked one of my grandmothers (M.P.'s namesake) for a B@by Jogger. She got me a gift certificate and behold:

I put it together, almost entirely by myself. I even adjusted the straps and put M.P. in it to make sure they were the right fit.

And then I sat down own the couch and ate a bowl of ice cream.**

Go me.

*The title to this post was going to be "Project Be Less Fat" but I reconsidered. Fat is relative, after all. Being "In Shape" is less so.

** It should be noted that Dad bought the ice cream.

Master Bathroom

One of the items on my List of Things to Accomplish is stripping the wallpaper in the master bathroom.

I like our house, but our master bathroom is one hot mess. First there was the wallpaper issue.

Then there is the whole carpet on the floor.


The plan is to strip, paint, pull up carpet, lay tile. This has been the plan all along, but it was rudely (and sweetly) interrupted with M.P. (Total aside - the day after we closed on the house, was this day.)


We've been in this house a bit over a year and, I hadn't made much progress. Last weekend Dad and I started in on earnest (mostly Dad) and realized stripping wallpaper (especially wall paper that has been attached to the walls for 13 years) should be a new circle in Hell in Dante's Inferno.


So we did what any yuppies would do. We hired someone.

So yes, I am crossing this one off my list, but there is an asterisk beside it since I didn't do it myself.



We will paint ourselves.


And possibly lay tile. We shall see.

M.P. is way better than a pancake

A preacher recently told me (and I'm not making this up) "First kids are like the first pancake. They're practice and they never turn out quite right. You do much better with the second."

I'm not actually condoning his comment since both Dad and I are first kids (only kid in my case). But, I understand what he means. I have little mental post-it-notes about what I'll do differently next time.

Sleep is one of the biggest hot button issues for parents today. There are so many opinions and books and methods and experts and so on. On the one hand, it seems very over-blown. Who cares how/where/when/in what manner a baby goes to sleep? On the other hand, there are real safety concerns associated with sleep (mostly SIDS). There are the co-sleepers and the anti-co-sleepers. Swaddlers and anti-swaddlers. CIO (cry it out) and AP (attachment parenting). Ferber vs. Sears.

One blogger I've been a fan of for a long time, Amalah, told a story recently about her 13 week old getting out of his swaddle. She co-sleeps. Something (or Someone) woke her up in the middle of the night for her to find that her son had broken out of his swaddle and had blankets covering his face. War broke out in the comments. Co-sleepers applauded her for co-sleeping since she was *right there* and able to help her son. Anti-co-sleepers told horror stories of mothers smothering their children.



I am a failed hippie/AP/Sears follower. I put myself in that camp because:

1. I started out breastfeeding
2. I co-slept
3. I pick M.P. up pretty much every time she cries
4. I make most of M.P.'s baby food from organic produce

I'm a failure because

5. M.P. drinks formula now
6. Co-sleeping only occurs now when other methods have failed
7. I'm a corporate attorney (hard to be a hippie and a corporate attorney)
8. There have been days where I haven't seen my daughter fully awake because of work

M.P. has never cried-it-out. I still get up and rock her back to sleep. Sometimes more than once a night. And sometimes rocking doesn't work. M.P. tends to throw a massive tantrum to put herself to sleep. Recently I discovered (thanks to Dad) that just putting her in the crib when she's sleepy (no rocking) can sometimes avoid the entire tantrum / pass out routine.

I can still do this routine for two reasons. 1. Dad and I alternate nights. And 2. M.P. is a really good baby. She's easy-going. She's happy. She's easy to placate.

I hear that same comment over and over: "She is such a good baby!" I'd like to think that it is because of my superior mothering skills, but I know that I have very little (if anything) to do with it. It's just her personality. A lot of it probably has to do with daycare. She's used to new faces. She's used to people having different styles.

Being a parent changes you. On the one hand you become completely intolerant of truly bad or neglectful parenting. On the other you realize that people are different, there are very few *right* ways to do things, and even the most loving and careful parent can make mistakes.

I know there are people out there who read my blog and think, "What kind of mother puts her six week old daughter in daycare?" I also know a SAHM (stay at home mom) who was recently told that she was a "loser" for not going back to work. I love my daughter and she loves hers. I'm not a bad person for working, and she's not a bad woman for staying at home.

That said, it's undeniable that one of the reasons I am willing to endure some sleep disturbances is because of Mommy Guilt. I feel guilty if I hear my daughter cry (even at 3:00 a.m.) and I don't go to her within 1 minute (even on the nights when it's Dad's turn). I feel guilty about the days when I haven't seen M.P. awake. Or the fact that she knows what my cell phone is and wants to play with all the time because I have to check it all the time. I won't deny it. My choices have produced Mommy Guilt.



There are a few post-its in my brain about what I'll do differently with a hypothetical second child, but there are a few things I know for sure:

1. What works for my family might not work for your family
2. What worked with M.P. might not work with baby #2
3. Mommy Guilt is worse than sleep deprivation
4. M.P. is way better than a pancake

Ladybugs and hairbows

My Aunt J, my mother's sister, is a real girly girl. I've never seen her leave the house without her hair, makeup, nails, perfume, jewelry, and outfit perfectly done. She came to visit us about four months ago, and asked me "Don't you put bows in M.P.'s hair?"

"No," I shrugged.

"You never put bows in her hair?" she repeated, clearly shocked.

"No, never."

"But MommyAttorney, don't you know that if you don't put bows in her hair now she won't want to wear bows and hats when she grows up?"

"Um... that's ok with me."

Well, Aunt J will be glad to know that M.P. has finally experienced a hair bow. I heard that the way to get a baby's hair to stand up with the bow in it was to put toothpaste in it. Poor M.P. Her mother is so clueless that despite the minty fresh hair, the bow still fell over.

But this is the adorable lady bug outfit that Dad got her for Christmas. Check out the shoes!

On becoming an attorney

I've been feeling a tad uninspired in the blogging department. Chalk it up to starting back to work and daycare and the hum drum of everyday life. So, I'm going to work on one of my resolutions - posting about being an attorney.

Law school is the most terrifying, confusing, anxiety-producing thing I have lived through. It deserves its own post - but I'll summarize briefly.

Law school teaches you lots of things. The difference between civil and common law. The fact that the trial court in New York is called the Supreme court. The fact that the Bill of Rights only restrains the Federal and (sometimes) State governments - a fact that will annoy you the rest of your life as people talk about how their employer is infringing their right to free speech. (Another lifelong annoyance - clients asking you if you can help them "file criminal charges" against someone.) You learn the intricacies of challenging a federal regulation as being beyond the authority of the agency to enact. And you learn approximately .01% of what you need to know to be a real live practicing attorney.

This was particularly true for me as I became a corporate attorney without having taken any corporate classes. Yes, not a single one. That fact made my first four or so months of working pretty hellish. I had to confess that, no, I hadn't heard of Revlon duties. No, I didn't know how to form a corporation. No, I didn't know the tax effects of taking an S-election.

But I truly doubt that law school would have prepared me for what I do on a typical day. For example - first year you are required to take Contracts. It is one of the scariest classes for all first years. But the really crazy thing? You never ONCE read an ACTUAL CONTRACT! Not in the entire class.

Much of the advice I'm asked to give is practical, with just a flavor of the law. Much of my research is done by picking up the phone and calling a bureaucrat somewhere, instead of logging onto Westl@w. I spend my days reading detailed contracts and then trying to put them into terms that the client can understand, all the while knowing the significance of an indemnity clause or prevailing party fees will be somewhat lost on them.

I like what I do. But what I do looks nothing like Law & Order or Boston Legal or any of those shows. It's reading very long documents, reviewing piles and piles of paper, answering client's questions, and hoping I keep partners happy.

First completion

Growing up in church, there were several deaf members. Thus there was almost always an ASL translator during the services. If I ever got bored, I would watch the translator and try to match the words to the signs. Learning ASL became something that I always dreamed of doing.

Studies have shown there are numerous benefits of teaching babies sign language. Babies can sign long before they can talk. And signing seems to be linked to larger vocabularies and higher IQs. For Christmas I got several Signing Time DVDs. Signing time was developed by a woman whose daughter is deaf. Her sister started teaching their children sign language so that they could communicate with their cousin. They were amazed at how quickly even the hearing child was able to communicate - reducing tantrums.

So, Number 51 is already accomplished. Here are (at least) 50 ASL signs that I know because of the DVDs.

Mom
Dad
Like
Don't like
Help
Wet
Dry
Sun
Moon
Stars
Day
Night
Rain
Snow
Windy
Tree
Grass
Hungry
Full
Happy
Sad
Grumpy
Surprised
Scared
Hot
Cold
Grandma
Grandpa
Aunt
Uncle
Cousin
Daughter
Son
Boy
Girl
Family
Feelings
House
Home
Apple
Banana
Candy
Cookie
Crackers
Boots
Coat
Hat
Milk
More
Play
Eat
Drink
Food
Diaper

Random M.P. updates

For New Year's Eve, M.P. stayed over at her Huntsville Grandma and Grandpa's house - her first spend the night party! Dad and I went to a party and then enjoyed sleeping through the night and then past 6:00 a.m!

M.P.'s Dad also discovered that M.P. is ticklish! I figured she would be - she is my daughter after all. We didn't over-tickle her because honestly? Being tickled is actually a tad tortuous for me, so we didn't want to overdo it.

Yay M.P.!