Sick Update

The doctor was very nice (he's really not an idiot).  He assured me that MP was not dehydrated and that there were no problems with  her lungs.

MP continued to drink just enough to stay hydrated, but about half of what she normally does.  She also continued to refuse solid food.

The cough and congestion continue but (hopefully?) are nearing their end.

This mom stuff?

It's hard.

Sickapaloooooza (or possibly my most boring post ever)

On Friday MP got a cold. It wasn't her first and it didn't seem all that bad. She basically had a runny nose, but didn't act like she felt badly.

On Sunday, as we were getting ready for church, MP started coughing. At first it didn't sound too bad, but by the afternoon, her cough sounded wretched. It was one of those coughs that hurts to hear because you know exactly how it feels to cough like that. Like someone has taken a rake to your throat.

Monday I took her to the doctor. He looked her over and decided he wanted to draw some blood. We had undoubtedly one of the worst phlebotomist of all times. She walked in and I asked "are you going to draw from her heel?" I was expecting them to use her heel because when she was a newborn, she had to have several blood draws because of jaundice, and they always used her heel.

"No, we'll be drawing it from her finger."

Ok, MP's fingers are about the size of a toothpick. Well, maybe two toothpicks stuck together.

"Alright" I said, and prepared myself.

I was not prepared. First, she scrubbed down MP's middle finger with alcohol. When she picked up her little needle shooter gun, she proceeded to grab MP's ring finger.

"That's the wrong fing-..." Needle stick.

"Oh, was it? Oops, oh well. I'll just wipe it down with alcohol." MP wasn't crying, and low and behold - her finger wasn't bleeding.

"I guess the needle didn't hit hard enough. I hate these things. I'll have to stick her again." This time she stuck the right finger, and MP let out a little whimper.

The finger was barely bleeding. So, the lady starts squeezing. And squeezing, and squeezing. And MP starts wailing. She starts getting out tiny drops and filling up her vial.

Then she starts squeezing the WRONG FINGER AGAIN - back to the ring finger. Only I guess the needle had just barely pricked the skin, and she she started squeezing, blood fired out of it.

"Oh, now I've got two fingers bleeding!"

I began thinking un-Christian-like thoughts about this woman. MP was screaming so hard, and I couldn't do anything. I was teetering somewhere between the line of crying and throwing up.

"It's good that she's crying - it makes the blood flow."

-Lady, I bet I could make you cry and bleed in about 3 seconds flat- I thought.

When the ordeal was over, she casually strolled out of the room. She didn't give me any bandaids or gauze or anything. I grabbed some wet paper towels and did my best to clean off the two bleeding fingers. MP was not really fond of having anyone touch her hand at that point.

The doctor said that she had a viral infection and seemed to be handling it well, although he couldn't rule out RSV. "So long as she's drinking fluids, I wouldn't be too concerned."

I kept MP home on Tuesday, but yesterday she seemed to really be feeling better so she went to daycare.

The cough has been continuing, but not sounding nearly as virulent.

This morning, I got MP up and started to give her breakfast. She normally eats and entire Second Foods container of fruit. I could barely get her to eat five bites.

I wasn't too concerned, until I tried to give her her morning bottle. She barely drank two ounces. All I could think about was what the doctor had said "As long as she's drinking fluids..."

I decided I was staying home with her and called the doctor's office. I explained to the nurse what was going on. By that time Dad had force-fed her another couple of ounces of Pedialyte. After talking to the doctor, the nurse called back and said "Bring her in at 3:00 if she still isn't drinking. The doctor said she may just not feel like drinking."

Huh? That seriously made no sense to me whatsoever. Just a few days he ago he said to be worried if she wouldn't take liquids, and then today he was saying she may just not feel like drinking?

I started thinking un-Christian-like thoughts about the doctor. I thought, "he's an idiot. If she ends up needing IVs and they're hard to put in because we waited so long, I'm going to give him a piece of my mind. 'Doesn't feel like drinking.' That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

I took MP over to Huntsville Grandparents' house because the maid is coming to my house today, and even though I don't feel guilty about using a maid, I do feel guilty about sitting around in the house while she's cleaning.

I decided that at 10:00 I was giving MP another bottle and she was going to drink it. "Be militant if you have to," Dad said.

As I went to go make the bottle, MP started crying her "I'm starving" cry.

Of course, she gulped down her entire bottle.

I'm taking her to the doctor at 3:00, even if she continues to drink happily.

I'm taking her on principle.

I'm not sure what principle, but it will be on principle.

::sigh::

I love this picture

The quality isn't great (because it was taken with an iPhone), but it captures so much of M.P.'s personality.  Had to share.

And yes, she really loves to eat all paper products.  Napkins are especially tasty.

Overheard at a CLE

I spent all of today at a mandatory legal ethics course.  [insert bad lawyer joke here]  The day was especially boring because I forgot my cell phone.  No checking e-mail.  No reading blogs.  None of the things we lawyers do to survive CLEs (continuing legal education).

Typically I skip out of these things somewhat early.  But since it was a mandatory ethics course, and because the dude that prosecutes lawyers who violate the rules of ethics was there, I thought it best to stay.  Fortunately two of my coworkers were also there, along with a friend.  We went to lunch together and sat together and mocked the presenters together.

The class was held at a hotel, and we parked in the hotel's parking.  It was one of those where you take a ticket when you enter.  Instead of paying at the exit, we chose to use an automated payment kiosk in the hotel's lobby.  You just inserted your ticket, inserted your cash or credit card, and it gave you back your ticket which had been electronically marked as PAID in some way.

My co-worker drove me down, so he was paying.  When he walked up to the machine, he pressed a button.  Suddenly the instructions, which had been clearly displayed, appeared in Russian.  

Me:  Did you just turn the instructions to Russian?

Co-worker:  Yeah, I just pressed this button...

Me:  Why did you press the button?

Co-w:  There were blinking lights.  The button had blinking lights, so I hit it.

Me:  Promise me that you will never travel by nuclear submarine.

Happy (belated) birthday!

So I took these pictures only ONE DAY LATE, but now am more than one day late.  There were several outtakes - MP was really determined to eat the sign.

Happy Birthday!

To Work or ...

to work even harder at home for no pay*?  That is the question.

Every working woman who becomes a mom must at least momentarily consider that question.  For some women, it's easy.  They've always known they've wanted to do... X.  But even if they've ALWAYS KNOWN, when it comes to that moment of decision, it's still a choice.

For most mommies I know, it's not an easy decision.  You end up with crazy lists like this:

STAY AT HOME?

PROs:

Unlimited time with baby

Less stress

Society's approval

Less guilt

Make spouse happy

More freedom

Pursue new goals

Make new friends

CONs:

Unlimited time with baby

More stress

Society's judgment

More guilt

Drive spouse crazy

Less money

Lose career

Lose old friends

There is a theory making the rounds in psychology that a prevalence of choice makes us less happy.  Instead of being liberated by our potential choices, we are paralyzed by fear of making the wrong choice.  It's called the Paradox of Choice.

Now, I'm not saying that I wish I didn't have choices.  But for some who didn't or don't have choices, and therefore have no sympathy for those of us who do, just know that more choices does not automatically equal more happiness.

There are no easy answers and no crystal balls.  So at the end of the day you have to use one criterion, and one criterion only:  Is this working for my family?

Being a full time lawyer was not working for my family.   I have high hopes that part-time will work, but if it doesn't?  I'll change again.

*Yes, staying at home is REALLY HARD WORK.  Seriously.  I've done both - been a corporate lawyer and stayed at home.  Staying at home is way harder hands down no questions.

Skiiiiing (or sit insiiiiiiding)

The day after the EMIPs approved my part-time plan, Dad and I loaded up the car and headed to North Carolina....  without the Baby!!!

My parents and in-laws were kind enough to babysit so Dad and I could get away with some old college friends.  We hadn't seen many of them in over a year, and it was absolutely fabulous.   Dad and I opted not to ski this year (this is at least the fourth year we've gone), mainly because it is so rare for us to have NOTHING to do.  We really enjoyed just RELAXING.  

But every once in awhile though, one of us would jump up and get an anxious look.

"Honey, the baby is fine."

It is so ingrained in you to care for your child, that it feels wrong to not have the baby to look after.  Some very deep part of your brain yells at you "DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR CHILD IS???"  And for a moment you're convinced you've left the baby in the backseat of the car.  Three days ago.

And that's what your spouse is there for - to remind you that the baby is safe and sound being spoiled rotten doted on by loving grandparents.

Uncle B helped with the first day of babysitting.  He knew that Dad and I were anxious to be leaving, so he sent me no less than 14 picture updates of MP.  It was fabulous.   He snapped a picture with his iPhone and I pulled it up on my Motorola Q all along the drive.  It really helped.  

As a surprise, Huntsville Grandma took MP to Portrait Innovations to get some more photos done.  They are adorable and warrant their own post.  It was a really sweet surprise.

It was a great weekend.  We learned that we can leave the baby and not have panic attacks (except for the five second variety) and we can even stay up past 11:00 if we really put our minds to it.

MommyFormerAttorney?

So, I guess I have to let the cat out of the bag.

I tried to quit my job on Monday.

Note the "tried."

The why and when and what and wherefore will be coming soon, but for now you must start in medias res:

Scene: Monday

Me: So, um, I need to tell you that I am going to be turning in my notice today.

V.I.P. ("Very Important Partner"): Why?

Me: Well, the bottom line is that I can't meet the billable hour requirement and still be the mom I want to be.

:::Pause in drama to explain::::

As an associate, I am given a billable hour requirement. It is the number of hours that are billable to a client that I am required to work in a year. If I told you the number, you would say "oh, no big deal, that's just about 40 hours a week." And I would then hit you. Because not everything is billable. So, to get 40 billable hours a week, generally requires something like 50 hours of work. When I first started I was so inefficient it was more like 60 hours. For my salary to make sense to the firm, I have to work those hours. I've been given a pass for awhile but it's clear that the situation isn't getting any better and I'm not anywhere near on target.

This is not to mention that the requirement is a minimum.

::::Drama continues::::

V.I.P.: Do you want to be a SAHM forever?

Me: No, not really, but I just don't see any other options.

V.I.P.: I see resumes nearly every week from women who have taken time off and want to get back to work. It's really difficult to get your foot back in the door once you've left. Do you like working here?

Me: Yes, I do. If I didn't like my job I wouldn't have come back after MP was born. But this clearly isn't working. The firm has been understanding, but I can only run on goodwill so long. I mean, if I could work here for 20 hours a week, say three days as week, that would be perfect.

V.I.P.: Well, why don't you do that?

Me: Um.. I guess.. is that an option?

VIP: Put a proposal together and I'll take it to the E.M.I.P.s ("Even More Important Partners").

So, I ran back to daycare and rescinded my two weeks notice to them (thank goodness I made it back to do that in time), met Dad for lunch and crunched some numbers.

I typed up a proposal and gave it to V.I.P. After a bit of wrangling, he agreed to submit it to the EMIP meeting today with his recommendation for approval.

The EMIPs apparently approved.

Fashion Show

Updates on life will be coming soon, but in the meantime, I wanted to post these pictures of M.P.'s first fashion show.

Huntsville Grandma is a sewer. She made M.P.'s christening gown, complete with lace, embroideries, and fancy things that I don't even know what their name is.

My mom's first cousin is very active in the sewing community because she owns several magazines related to sewing and a whole sewing empire. One of her companies has a sewing school every year, and there is a fashion show of outfits. It was M.P.'s first fashion show, showing off her christening gown.

It was way after her bedtime, so she was a tad fussy, thus the pacifier.

This was taken during the dinner before the show. M.P. is being held by yet another of Huntsville Grandma's first cousins, and looking at Aunt J. Can you see that Aunt J. matches my description of her?

I have to admit that I don't like the idea of M.P. being a model when she grows up, but she was awfully cute on the runway!

Pause

There's a lot happening at Casa Harper, but none that I can blog about.  I promise I will update as soon as possible.

Happy Birthday Great Grandpa

I will add pictures to this as soon as I get some (I forgot my camera, but there was a camera there). We went to dinner last night to celebrate Huntsville Great Grandpa's birthday. M.P. was well-behaved as always, although she thought everything on the table (including the menu, silverware, and napkins) looked tastey.

Happy Birthday! We love you!

It's rude to talk about money

But I at least had to document this day - we are debt free!  (Except of course for the giant mortgage.  We won't mention that one...)

100th Post 100 Things About Me

Technically this is my 102nd post, but blogging etiquette dictates that I write a "100 things" post in celebration. That's a lot. Here goes:

1. I was born and raised in Huntsville, Alabama
2. I lived in the same house my entire life until I went to college.
3. I don't have much of a southern accent
4. I always wore shoes growing up
5. I am American by birth and Southern by the grace of God
6. I went to a private school for 1st through 12th grade.
7. My graduating class had less than 60 people
8. I was neither popular nor an outcast.
9. I was a choir geek, nerd, and teacher's pet.
10. I don't think I was obnoxious as that sounds. But, who knows.
11. I was voted most likely marry identical twins along with my best friend.
12. She is still my best friend.
13. We happen to have the same first name.

14. We do not look much alike.
15. We did not marry identical twins, although our husbands are very similar.
16. Three of the seniors in my class went to ivy league schools.
17. I was not one of them.
18. I went to a small women's college in Atlanta
19. Yes, I liked it.
20. I planned to major in biology and go to medical school.
21. I majored in International Relations and Spanish and went to law school.
22. I met Dad in college.
23. We started dating early in my sophomore year.
24. I became friends with several guys from his college through knowing him.
25. I'm still friends with those guys.
26. I left the country for the first time the summer after my freshmen year.
27. I went to study abroad in the Dominican Republic.
28. I fell in love with traveling because of that trip.
29. Since then I have traveled to Paris, Costa Rica, Mexico, Nicaragua, and Peru.
30. Because I went to school in Atlanta and studied Spanish, I never thought I would end up in Alabama.
31. I was wrong.
32. I was raised Southern Baptist.
33. I went to church every Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday night.
34. I rebelled against the church and faith in college.
35. It wasn't until after I graduated from college that I returned to my faith.
36. Being a Christian is easy when there are no other people around.
37. Unfortunately people are around pretty much all the time.
38. Practicing law is great when there are no clients around.
39. [same principle applies]
40. Practicing law is not at all what I expected it to be.

41.  It's amazing that clients can make major significant life-alteringly bad choices, and then expect their attorney to magically fix everything.

42.  Just a warning - there are consequences to your actions and an attorney cannot save you from all of them.

43.  Some days I think I should have stuck with med school.

44.  But talking to my best friend who is in med school makes me happy for my choice.

45.  I liked law school after the first year.

46.  The first year was terrible because it was also the first year of my marriage, the first year living with Dad, the first year living in a really tiny southern town, all in the most competitive, self-confidence destroying environment I've ever encountered.

47.  I did well in law school.

48.  I represented indigent criminal defendants.

49.  I wish I still did that.

50.  Criminal defense attorneys are the defenders of your liberty.  You should thank them.

51.  I'm also thankful for all carbohydrates.

52.  I can eat anything if it is at least 50% carbohydrate.

53.  I could never do a low-carb diet.

54.  I constantly think about how I should be on a diet.

55.  People who say "nothing tastes as good as being thin feels" have never had a home-cooked southern meal.  I can name at least 30 dishes that taste way better than being thin feels.

56.  I am naturally blond.

57. My hair is getting dirtier every day (in color, not physically).

58.  I wonder when I can no longer consider myself a blond.

59.  I have weird sleep issues.  I talk in my sleep and have very vivid dreams.

60.  Dad says I always look confused and accusatory when I wake up.

61.  I think I never get a really good night's sleep because my mind is always working overtime.

62.  I also drool in my sleep.  A lot.

63.  I'm not very sentimental.

64.  I tend to throw things away that Dad views as keepsakes.  

65.  A big part of the purpose of this blog is so that M.P. will have keepsakes of her childhood.

66.  I planned my entire wedding in four months.  I can't tell you what song Dad and I danced to for first dance, or what song my dad and I danced to.  

67.  I can tell you that a minister was there and we said I do.

68.  I am an only child.

69.  I probably would have been a very self-absorbed spoiled brat, but my life changed when I was young.

70.  My mom got very sick when I was around four years old.

71.  My family did a really great job of  being positive and supportive and protecting me.

72.  I still knew there was something wrong.

73.  I'm pretty sure that made me a more empathetic person.

74.  My mom is fine now, and I'm very very grateful for that.

75.  I'm a bit of a Daddy's girl.

76.  My dad and I always shared music, weird humor, a love of language, and The Princess Bride.

77.  The Princess Bride is the best movie of all time.  Period.  Amen.

78.  The book is pretty good too.  

79.  The best thing about the book is that it's self-referential.  I love cleverly self-aware literature.

80.  I didn't begin to truly appreciate my parents until I had my daughter.

81.  Parenting is by far the most difficult job on the planet.

82.  It's also the most rewarding.

83.  When I heard people say things like that before I had a baby, I secretly rolled my eyes.

84.  I can be ironic and sarcastic and biting, but not about my daughter.  She shows me that all of the cliches about being a parent are true.

85.  She has her father's eyes and eyelashes.

86.  She has my nose.

87.  I want her to have her father's intellect and love of life.

88.  I want her to have my work ethic and sense of humor.

89.  If she gets her father's sense of humor, I will be surrounded by potty humor and puns for the rest of my life.

90.  I can't think about her growing up and moving away without getting choked up.  

91.  Maybe that's why teenagers are difficult - so that you are happy when they finally leave the nest.

92.  I want to have more children.  

93.  But not for a little while.

94.  I'm secretly (or not-so-secretly, it seems) afraid that I couldn't love another child the way I love my daughter.

95.  I had a really hard time coming up with 100 things about myself.

96.  That fact sort of scares me.

97.  Am I really that boring?

98.  Don't answer that. 

99.  Um...  I really like chocolate a lot!

100.  And...  er... thanks for reading.

More random M.P. updates

There are a couple of things that got left out of M.P.'s monthly letter (mainly because I was so excited about her recent developments).

The first is the feet clapping.  Whenever I change M.P.'s diaper, I "clap" her feet together.  She always smiles and finds it pretty amusing.  Well, now she "claps" her feet without my help!  It's so cute!  She grabs her ankles while she's on her back and hits the bottom of her feet together.

The second is her obsession with my hair.  She likes to pull my hair, which isn't all that special.  But when I give her a bottle, she'll gently run her fingers through my hair.  She doesn't grip or pull, just lets the hair slide through her fingers, over and over.  It's the sweetest thing I've ever seen.

Just had to record that for my terribly short short-term memory.