I finally counted. It's 17 days since the kids were in school. I think Dave and I went in to work on that next Monday, but after that it's been all at home, all the time.
Annabelle organized a party for us. It involved dancing, and everyone was assigned a coloring page. There were prizes for finishing your page. Evelyn let me wear her narwhal
The very few number of hours I billed today (yesterday - 3/25), it was a good day. Much better. Extra walks. Sunshine. More knitting. Feel good podcast.
Another thing that makes me very happy is looking forward to / planning vacations. Or working toward specific goals. Now, all of that is gone. It is indeed grief. Grief for how I thought this year would go. But there's still lots of joy to be found.
You know those personality tests that you take in college and whatever that are supposed to tell you what kind of career you would enjoy. So on all of those, I measure more or less off the charts on being "task oriented" over "relationship oriented." Different tests use different words for it, but basically the part of me that makes lists and just Gets.Stuff.Done is VERY STRONG.
And so given the chaos and lack of work that's going on, I suffer. Like mentally/emotionally suffer. And all of the messages of just "relax" and "enjoy this time" make me suffer more because then I feel GUILTY for how I FEEL.
I'm doing the best I can. The weather has been holding out, so the kids have been going on walks with Gabi, and then usually walks with us as well. Playgrounds are closed. Basketball courts are closed. But we can at least go on walks outside.